a note from Erin
I don’t know what I’m doing. And I’m ok with that.
There’s a little book on Zen which I adore, called “Open and Innocent: The Gentle Passionate Art of Not-Knowing” by Scott Morrison. This favorite quote comes from that book.
I returned a week ago from a Dzogchen retreat with one of my Tibetan teachers, Tsoknyi Rinpoche. Oh, it was good. A week of silent sitting, receiving profound teachings, and hiking at 8000+ feet was just what the doctor ordered. This week, I’m spending lots of time with our little one, while my beloved is taking his turn on retreat, and we’re diving right into the wild world of homeschooling. People keep asking what we’re doing and I’ve decided it feels most liberating and relaxing for me to tell the truth. Which is this: I have no idea!
Not one of us has ever done this before. Then a few days ago while I was standing in that magical place where profound insights tend to arise (also known as the shower) I remembered something that my friend Valerie said to me a few years ago. It touched me so deeply, I made a little card with her words and posted it on my corkboard, where it still sits. I don’t remember what I might’ve been nervous about at the time, but Valerie wisely said, “You have everything you need: Curiosity and love.” It came to me again in the shower. It was so heartening. I believe it’s true.
It’s uncomfortable to not know.
Is there any place or situation in your life where Val’s reminder might serve you too?
Please know that I’m wishing you well, and rooting for curiosity and love to grow and grow and guide us on our way.
And a quick note – Thursday morning meditation will resume next week, September 1st, once we’re both back from retreat! Join us anytime.
sunset at the great stupa in Crestone, Colorado