Online Grief Tending Ritual For Men


I don’t have much knowledge yet in grief–so this massive darkness makes me small.

-Ranier Maria Rilke


Many of us living in these times are not so well-versed in the ways of grief. Though we all experience grief and loss, in many modern cultures, grief is pathologized, or is a temporary state to heal or “get through.”  If grief is entered, it is often practiced in solitude. This can especially true for men, as many of us have been socialized away from feeling and expressing our grief, and rarely do we get the opportunity to be with the mystery of grief in the company of other men.

In this gathering, we will come together to tend the well of grief as a circle of brothers.

Over the course of the day together, we will simmer together in the waters of grief. We will listen deeply to each other share the grief and loss we are holding, and recognize that we do not have to hold it alone.

The grief we carry can come in many forms. Loss, heartbreak, woundedness, rage, numbness, our unlived lives, how we carry the state of our culture or the natural world. When we tend this grief we carry, these practices can be what Francis Weller refers to as soul-hygiene- just as we tend to the state of our teeth, or our bodies, we can tend to the state of our soul by experiencing and metabolizing the grief we carry.

We will speak and listen to each other from the heart. We will also engage in short writing practices and guided inquiry to help access different, non-habitual aspects of the mind and psyche.

We will also explore embodiment and movement practices that help us to fully inhabit our bodies, and release patterns of holding, particularly areas like the jaw, the chest, the lower belly, our breathing, and our voice, where tension patterns can block or inhibit the movement of grief. There will also be breaks through the day for reflection, digestion, going for walks, etc. (It is not just 6 hours sitting at a computer.)

We will conclude the day with a grief ritual practice together.


It feels important to hold a space specifically for men, as there can often be cultural conditioning that discourages men from accessing grief, particularly in the company of others. If you are a trans man, or non-binary and are drawn to attend, you are most welcome.

This gathering is about ordinariness, authenticity and connection. It is not a morbid event, nor is it about catharsis or any kind of performance. It is a container where we can hold, and tend to the needs of the soul around grief and loss. As teachers like Joanna Macy, Francis Weller and Martin Prechtel so eloquently express, grief is intimately connected with gratitude, praise and celebration of this precious life, or as Khalil Gibran wrote “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

In this gathering, there is no pressure to grieve a certain way. You may weep, you may not shed a tear. You might have anger, numbness, or deep outrage.  Like Rumi’s guesthouse, all are welcome. We come together as authentic, ordinary men with our own access to, and our defenses around grief.   When we tend grief in community together, the sense of “my grief” can begin to dissolve into “our grief,” the grief and loss that we hold and carry together.

Space will be limited.

This grief ritual is full.

Please read our cancellation policy here

We also have scholarship spots available for BIPOC, marginalized identities, and those experiencing financial hardship, please email if you are interested in one of those spots.

Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions,

With love and gratitude,

Carl and Alexandre















Alexandre Jodun is a holistic psychotherapist, ritualist, and ceremonialist. His passion is to experientially investigate the intersections between healing developmental wounds and ancestral trauma, working reverently with extraordinary states of consciousness and plant & ritual technologies, and exploring the process of psycho-spiritual initiation into authentic adulthood for modern folx. Through A Healing Bridge, he weaves together his eclectic therapeutic, creative, and ancestral roots to offer sanctuaries for individuals and groups to meaningfully re-weave that which is Sacred back into their lives and relations. He lives in the Sacred Valley of Cusco, Peru, where he offers holistic medicine retreats alongside his wife, Alyona. You can find out more about Alexandre here.

Carl Rabke is a Somatic Naturalist, Embodiment teacher, and a tender of soul and living culture. For the last 25 years, he has practiced and taught where the streams of somatics,  soul-work, and a deep love of this living Earth meet. He is a Feldenkrais and Structural Integration practitioner, and loves to support people in returning to, and remembering our natural, inherent intelligence in movement, meditation, ritual, song, rhythm and community. He also hosts the Embodiment Matters Podcast with his beloved wife, Erin. You can find out more about him here.